‘Have you done drugs?’ How to answer your kid

How to talk with your kids about drugs:

Communication — talking, listening, and guiding — is the core of parental engagement. You need to be able to talk with your children about difficult issues, including substance abuse, to get them to talk to you honestly about what’s going on in their lives, and to guide them to make healthy, sensible decisions.

But how?

With a teenager especially, how do you connect on a level that is comfortable and natural?

How do you become engaged in your son’s life without making him feel as if you are invading his space? How do you ask questions without making your daughter feel like she’s being interrogated?

How do you talk about substance use (or other risky behaviors) without it turning into a confrontation or a fight? Without getting a “You don’t trust me!” shouted back?

The first step in building good communication is to start early spending quality time just talking to your child — in the car, during dinner, watching TV, going to church, at ball games, walking the dog, playing games, in the park, on vacation — using the moments you have together to get to know your kids and to let your kids get to know you. Talk about anything and everything, it doesn’t matter so much what the subject is as long as you and your children are communicating openly. Your children won’t feel comfortable talking about difficult issues, like drugs and alcohol, if they don’t feel that it’s normal to talk to you about what’s going on in their lives.

With a solid foundation of open, two-way communication, cemented by talking and listening to your child, you will have the Parent Power to guide your child to make the right decisions if your guidance has the ring of authenticity to both of you.

What do I mean by authenticity? Your guidance to your child on making healthy, drug-free decisions and the discussion that accompanies it will have authenticity if they are based on facts and nourished by love.

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